In the End
by Kawaii Kitsune
Summary: Hiei reminisces about a night not so long ago. [Warning: HxK]


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**In the End**  
by: Kawaii Kitsune

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho and all the characters in the wonderful show do not belong to me, blah, blah, blah. You get the point. No money, don't sue, blah, blah, blah. Moving on.

Note: italics indicate memories.

* * *

The night sky is clear and beautiful. The innumerable stars twinkle and shine, seeming so close and yet so very far. Couples walk hand-in-hand under the light of the round moon, talking and laughing about insignificant little details. The air is crisp and clean, and the wind brings the scent of flowers with each and every gust. It's a peaceful and serene night...and I hate it. 

Ever since that fateful moment three nights ago, my life has been a bleak existence. I've lost the color in my life; now, everything is this dull gray. I spend my days in a daze, with a clouded mind behind eyes that have lost their luster and shine. If eyes are truly the windows to the soul, then anyone could see that my soul is dead. I have become lifeless and void, a mere shell of a being. Who would've thought that the destruction of the Forbidden Child would be due to a few simple words? Hn, I am so pathetic. 

Memories of that night keep coming back to me in waves. Bits and pieces of the event that changed my life stalk my days and haunt my nights. I can't fight and defend against its painful attacks, and I can't escape from its suffocating clutches. My life is an endless nightmare. 

_"I'm sorry, Hiei, but it's not working out."_

I cringe at the memory. Why can't I forget? 

_"This relationship just isn't working."_

Why wasn't it working? We loved each other, didn't we? You taught me that love conquered all, didn't you? Liar. 

_"We barely see each other anymore. You're always busy in the Makai and I'm always working late at my step-father's company. We just don't have time for each other anymore."_

We can make time. I can stop going to the Makai and you can quit your job. Besides, we're demons. We have all the time in the world. I just don't understand. 

_"We tried, Hiei. We can't say that we didn't try. And our time together was wonderful. No regrets, right?"_

Wrong, Kurama. I regret ever learning the concept of "love." Whoever said "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" apparently never lost someone. I was perfectly content before I fell for you; I was invincible, untouchable. But now look at me, a pathetic shell, withering away in my solitude. I hate you, Kurama. 

_"I'll always love you, Hiei. You'll always be in my heart."_

No, that's not right. I don't hate you. I can't hate you. I desperately want to, so this pain could stop, but I simply can't hate the person I love. 

_"Perhaps when this human body dies and I return to the Makai, we can once again be together, but right now, I can't handle this long-distance relationship."_

So I'm a toy? Something that you can throw away when you tire of it and retrieve when you want to play again? I refuse to be treated like that. You think that you were the only one suffering from the distance between us? Wrong again, Fox. I felt the pain, too. I, too, was unsatisfied with the lonely days and nights. But unlike you, I was willing to work and suffer through it in the name of love. And I thought you would have done the same. That's where I was wrong. I laugh bitterly at myself for my false belief. 

The next thing I see is the blazing sun shining from up above. I must have fallen asleep some time in the night. I'm getting very careless about where I sleep for the night but it doesn't matter anymore to me. If I'm attacked during the night, so be it. Nothing matters anymore. I get up and start another meaningless day of existence in this living plane. Why do I bother living on if my days are just filled with misery and emptiness? I don't know... Perhaps it's because I will not allow myself to commit suicide. Or perhaps it's because I still have hope left in my heart that this is all a horrible nightmare. I don't know and I don't care. Everything is meaningless. 

I don't know how I got there, but I'm somehow in the woods behind Kurama's house. I stare towards the direction of his house and the memories come back again. My eyes close in concentration, trying to fight off the onslaught of pain and misery, which is probably why I didn't even notice the attack until it hit me dead-on. The arrow stuck me on my left side, embedding itself into my flesh. I scream out in surprise and pain. And then another hit, on the same side but this time in my thigh. I decide to snap out of my stupor and move before a third one could strike. I move just in time to dodge the next arrow. 

"What's the matter, Hiei?" a voice mocks, "Too slow?" 

I swear underneath my breath, using most of my concentration to predict where and when the next arrow will strike. I'm losing blood and fast. The arrows were coated with a drug that prevented my demon healing mechanism from kicking in. If I don't tend to my wounds soon, I know I will die of blood-lost. That's if the arrows don't kill me first. I stagger on with only the self-preservation program that had been encoded into my brain since birth. 

"You'll die here tonight, Hiei, for what you did to my brothers and me." 

The truth is, I don't care anymore whether I die here or not. 

An arrow hits me straight through my chest, piercing my heart. However, there is no pain because my heart was already dead, broken into a million pieces. Instead of pain, I feel nothing but bliss. I let out a long sigh and collapse onto my knees. Another arrow hits my chest, but my body is already numb. 

"You're finished," the voice laughed hysterically. 

I can barely hear him now. My body finally topples over unto its back and I stare up at the crystal blue sky one last time. Who knew my death would be so peaceful? When I finally can not keep my eyes open any longer, I close them, preparing to embrace the eternal darkness that is death. I open my mouth to whisper one last phrase but I don't know if I managed to say it or not. 

Goodbye, Kurama, and remember that I'll always love you, in this world and the next. 

And then, nothing.

* * *

This story is partly real. It was based on a true occurrence. Anyway, I had the urge to write this a while ago and I finally finished it. Hope you liked it (even though it's sad and angst). ^_^;; Oh, since I've been obsessed with the song "In the End" lately, I thought it was a nice name for the fic.


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